Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Divorce Doom

A frumpy cloud of family shattering storms plagues the Birmingham metro area. Everyone around me is getting divorced. Some after 10, 15, or even 20 years of marriage. Affairs. Lies. Miscommunication. And this recent relationship fall out has made me think a lot about the characters that we write and what our character's thoughts would be on the institution of marriage amongst other facets of their life.

For example if Anita Saxena were a character in a work of fiction. She would say:
I'm desensitized to weddings but think marriage is a cool concept when entered into advisedly.

In graduate school I had to take gross anatomy. For three months I dissected in a cold room full of naked dead people. Naked and/or dead doesn't really bother me anymore (the smell of formaledhyde still makes my nose burn though). Same goes with weddings. I can't even tell you how many weddings  Saxena Video Productions, LLC has filmed. I've seen weddings where everyone is so caught up in the pomp and circumstance of the affair that the bride and groom don't even look happy. And the current fad, to curtail photographer costs, is for the bride and groom to see each other prior to the wedding. So if they're already living together, shacking up (a minister at a wedding I recently filmed said that "marriage was God's solution to shacking up." I was horrified that he said shacking up), and now seeing each other prior to the ceremony- what's the big deal about her walking down the aisle in a white dress that the guy already saw her in a couple of hours ago. (I hope I just didn't offend anyone. If I did- I am truly sorry for my jaded, insensitive comments)

I think marriage can be a beautiful, wonderful thing. It's the actual wedding ceremony that makes me feel like sometimes there is much adieu about nothing

Ten years ago I would have NEVER said anything like that about weddings. I think we all, at some point in our life, go through a major reality check  (not necessarily about weddings). We have this profound moment where we get the true nature of our careers, relationships, etc...

So yesterday I thought a lot about Laila from Product of an Illusion and what her reality check was like for her in her mid twenties. The choices that she made were pivotal because her new perception on self, career, and relationships. Same thing goes for the MC Maya. At 15 she's starting to see through the vale of deception her mother chose to shroud her in.

Do your characters have a reality check moment in their lives? How does it change them or their perception of things?


  1. Interesting post!

    And as to the answer, OH, BIG TIME.

    Yes, my new MC has one of these. Yes, it's pivotal. Yes, it's dramatic.

    It changes his perception because all of a sudden he doesn't have a purpose anymore. Things are uncertain. But he finds his way eventually, and it all comes together in the end.

  2. you be single? i married once but my baby daddy here i be with no one. men suck!

  3. Great post! I just recently started writing in some marital problems with my mc's parents. It's helping develop her inner conflicts and motivation for acting the way she does.

  4. I'm with you on weddings. I refused to have one when I married.

    My novel is noir so it's got truckloads lot of marital angst.