Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Anita's Edge: The No Camel Zone

Today's post is a hybrid of Bill O'Reilly's No Spin Zone and Kiersten White's Household Memos. It's called the The No Camel Zone because camels happen to be my favorite ice skating spin (well actually, I think the layback is, but The No Layback Zone just wouldn't make sense). And also because camels are smelly animals.

Dear Brett Favre,

I've always looked up to you because of your passion for football. It doesn't matter how many times someone calls you an old man, you go out on the field throw a touchdown, and then run around in celebration as if it's the first touchdown you've thrown in your life. I respect your passion for the game and desire to be an athlete despite your age.
Did you really text message a picture of your bo jangles to some girl that looks like a younger version of your wife? Did you? Since the story broke I've had to put up with Sarcastically Delicious (aka boyfriend) making jokes about gray haired winkies. It's not fun.

Yours still-reeling-from-the-shock-of-your-bo-jangles-fiasco,

Dear Fox News,

How have you managed to hypnotize Sarcastically Delicious? I understand that some important elections are coming up on November 2nd, but all he does is watch Fox News all day long. Well, I might be exaggerating. But, the other day he wanted to watch Fox News instead of Sunday Night Football! Can you explain that to me? Plus he makes me watch Fox News. I like staying up to date on current events, but after I've worked all day with screaming children, I don't particularly like coming home to watch people argue with each other about political issues. I hold YOU accountable for this Fox News.

Seriously annoyed,

Dear IRS,

I've been working my patootie off this past month. How do you get off taking away 43% of my paycheck. It's highway robbery!!! I went to school for eight years to do what I do, and I still have to pay back my student loans. How am I supposed to do that when you take 43% of my paycheck!!!

Sincerely ticked off,

And since this blog is also supposed to be about writing, check out this post by Sarah Dessen.