Dear Pittsburgh Steelers,
I have been a long time fan of your team and an especially huge admirer of Hines Ward. I love the fact that he smiles after every play and genuinely looks like he's having the time of his life.
Well, I'm not smiling team. Last Sunday before you guys played the Oakland Raiders I announced on Facebook that I would disown you guys for the season if you lost to them. I mean come on, they're the Oakland Raiders. And you let me down! And then last night you played the Cleveland Browns. The poopy Cleveland Browns. And they beat you! I hope you're hanging your heads down in shame.
Mike Tomlin said that you guys were going to unleash hell in December. Do you need me to chase you around with a pitch fork? Seriously, I'll do it.
Further more, what kind of line lets their quarterback get sacked a gazillion times a game? I bet I could protect Rothlesberger better than you guys can. It's no wonder the poor guy has had so many concussions.
I understand that Polamalu is hurt and has been spending a lot of his free time doing Head & Shoulders commercials. But you guys are a team! And just because one defensive player is off shampooing his hair for money (just kidding I know you have a strained MCL, I've had one of those before too and I feel for you- ouch!) that doesn't mean our entire defensive scheme should fall apart.
And lastly, you have disappointed my fantasy team, Straight Trippin. I'll draft your defense in the second round just because I think you're that cool. And I'll pick up Hines in the third. Just beacuse I love you guys that much. But, I'm seriously regretting that this season. Well, Hines not so much. He's put up some good numbers.
So if I don't watch any more of your games this season it's not because I don't love you guys. I just can't stand to see you self destruct. I don't know if you should even trying winning anymore games this season. Just end the misery with a pitiful record so we can at least draft some better safetys and peeps who'll actually protect Big Ben.
Happy Holidays Team!