Friday, March 12, 2010

Be Careful What You Wish For.....

I apologize for my prolonged absence. The early days of my absence were attributable to training for two U.S. Figure Skating Ice Dance tests. The next day or two of blog absence were spent in celebration/recooperation from passing those tests.

And then the last two days of absence are because I tore my ACL on Wednesday.

It happened on the ice. The rink was empty and I reveled in having it all to myself. But, I couldn't help remembering the words of a former coach who warned against skating on the ice alone. She always worried what would happen if one of us took a bad fall and there was no one there to help us. I shrugged this warning off and proceeded to do a double loop. Then a good friend joined me on the ice and he was doing his thing and I kept doing my thing. Ultimately, I'm so thankful for his presence.

Because then the unthinkable happened.

A deep crevice in the ice quietly waited. I did a three turn (a turn from forward to backwards on one foot) in preparation to do a double flip. A three turn. Something as natural to me as walking. My left blade caught in the crevice and my foot twisted. My legs split into an unnatural split position and I hyper extended my right knee- the knee I use to land all my jumps with.

I jinxed myself. There is no other explanation. And I have evidence to prove it:

1. I seem to get the most writing done when I'm injured
2. Persistently wishing for more writing time

Unfortunately, writing has been the farthest thing from my mind. I've been devastated. There is no other way to say it. But, now I'm past the hysterical crying and I've come to accept that I will need ACL reconstructive surgery. My doctor has promised me over and over again that I will be back to jumping, spinning, and ice 6 months. 6 months! I've been skating for almost 19 years and my max time off the ice was for twelve weeks when I was thirteen and I broke my ankle twice in a row.

I believe that things happen for a reason. And the only silver lining I can see in any of this is that I will have more time to write (when I'm not doing rehab). But, it's so hard to be in a happy writing place when you feel so hollow inside. But, I'm done with feeling sorry for myself and I'm not going to cry about it anymore. I'm not dying of cancer. I didn't have a heart attack. I didn't permanently lose a limb. I just tore a teeny tiny ligament. No biggie. Right?


  1. Best wishes w/ the surgery. With all my basketball playing, I'm constantly worried about an ACL tear... I have had my skull fractured (and I've got the plate to prove it), but was only out for 6 weeks. The best thing I can say is that w/ the prevalence of the injury, the prognosis for a full recovery is so much better then it was even a decade ago (when a 12 month recovery period was standard).

    And perhaps you can use the emotions you're experiencing currently to delve into some of the darker aspects of your writing... it's a bad time, for sure, but try to use it to your advantage.

  2. Anita, I'm so sorry to hear what's happened to you. I wish you a full recovery, and an even fuller writing experience in the meantime. May your silver lining be a golden one.

  3. That stinks! I did mine in last year - although I didn't need surgery. Hopefully the months will fly by for you. Good luck :)

  4. Yikes. I've been there-- it sucked. I rode my horse anyway, giant hip-to-ankle brace and all.

    Mine still gives me trouble, but I never had surgery. I hope that your recovery is smooth-- don't rush it, though, or it'll happen again!

  5. So sorry, Anita. I wish you a speedy recovery.

  6. I am so, so sorry Anita. I hope the surgery and recovery go well and that you can use writing to get your mind off the awfulness of the situation. Take care.

  7. Thanks for the get well wishes guys!
    And Bane, I can't believe you fractured your skull! Well, at least the metal plate explains a lot.... Just kidding.

  8. I'm so sorry about your inury. I hope your surgery and recovery give you lots of things to write about. :-)