Poor Sarcastically Delicious (aka boyfriend) has been battling the flu, couple that with his insomnia and some meds, and his text messages get really interesting.
SARCASTICALLY DELICIOUS (SD): We should write a gangsta romanz novel, yo.
ME: Ok, after you get some rest though.
SD: Probably a good idea. I'm more delirious than normal. That can't be good. Is this real life?
ME: No, it's that place where minds go when they're sleep deprived. It's called Delirium.
SD: Arghhhh! It's a magical place of romance and adventure. And the cursed double sneeze. I think I've managed to coat my entire room with particles of mucus and viri. My walls now sparkle in the sunlight. Could they be vampires?
ME: Little miniature vampires.
SD: I wonder if they notice plain ole me...
ME: Why do you want a bunch of microscopic vampires to notice you?
SD: To complete me. Maybe I should take my shirt off in case I transform into a savage beast. You too, we can't be too careful.
ME: I think I'm going to leave my shirt on.
SD: So, if you teleport with a cold, does the cold go with you? Or are you instantly cured?
ME: The cold goes with you.
SD: What about a fart? The gas isn't technically touching you?
ME: If the fart is in your intestines then it goes with you.
SD: So you could fart, teleport, and do a stealth crop dusting?