Friday, June 10, 2011

How do you ask the Librarian out?

No, I'm not looking to ask out the librarian. I've thankfully got Sarcastically Delicious (aka boyfriend). But, today I was chatting on the phone with Friend, and he is smitten with his local librarian. He's pretty sure that she's solo because she doesn't leave at three o'clock to pick up her (existent/non-existent) kids from school, she doesn't wear a ring, she works long hours, and Friend hasn't seen any boy toys lingering at the check out counter.

We brainstormed a couple game plans:

Closing Time Blitz
Friend surmises the best time to ask librarian out is to make a move at closing time. Linger at the library until the last minute, and then when the last patron is gone, saunter over to the counter to make a move. Progress conversation to maybe a coffee date. The problem with this play however is that it is a blitz. At my local library things get pretty chaotic in the end zone before the game clock is about to expire, with patrons rushing to check out and return items. So I guess it just depends on how crowded the end zone is on this game plan.

Quarterback Comedy Sneak
Friend likes to hit the gym and often checks out books about working out. If Friend gets the snap count just right, he can sneak a moment in with librarian, return the books, and make a joke about how the work out books are great even though his figure may not be showing it. After the laughter (aka touchdown), Friend can go in for the two point conversion (asking her out on a date).

Off Tackle (Off Peak) Rush
Friend can time this play during slow times at the library. Times when librarian is done doing what she needs to do and she's twiddling her thumbs at the counter. Friend visits library frequently, and he can try to develop a friendship with librarian, he just has to work on the timing of the visits. The problem with the off tackle rush, however, is that since it is summer, the library tends to stay pretty busy, so getting one on one flirt time with the librarian maybe sparse. This play, I think, is better suited for fall through spring, when the kids are in school during the day, and the library isn't as busy.

We're looking for suggestions. Any game plans you guys would like to add to the playbook?


  1. I would do a 'player' lockout followed by Bargaining Agreement where the two parties can agree upon $800 million worth of 'library stuff'. At which point only 8 of the 16 originally planned dates will be enjoyed with one pre-season (coffee and talks) date.

    If you don't like it... date a cheerleader.

  2. I feel your pain. The lockout angst has made me ehhh about the commissioner.

  3. 1) Find a way to sneak notes to her. As cheesy as it might sound: Girls/women are always smitten by the secret admirer.
    2) Wait around for her reaction. Does she keep the note with a smile or roll her eyes and toss it away. In case of the former, proceed.
    3) Upgrade from lovely note to lovely little somewhat. A flower (No rose! Way too tacky!) or a nice little box of chocolate will seal the deal.
    4) After some time she will be a) not wanting to give up her secret admirer and b) dying to find out who it is. Now is the time to sneak her a note with the simplest of tasks. "Meet me for Coffee." and the instruction to leave date, time and place (the decision's still up to her) somewhere. (In a book or at a public bulletin board...)
    5) Meet for coffee.

  4. Laura, I like your Five Steps to a Coffee Date.

  5. The longer friend hangs around the library week after week giving her the "look" and seeing if she reciprocates the further and further he moves into stalker territory. Same with Laura's approach. I like the general idea of secret notes and a slow progression but the hard part is that it doesn't give an easy out. Of course librarian would be flattered because she doesn't know who the note is from. But with each progression friend gets more invested and librarian has no way to tell him "thanks but no thanks". Also, you are now competing with her imagination the longer you draw out the secret admirer angle. Personally, I've never had a problem with just walking up to a girl and asking if she'd like to get coffee sometime. If she was hesitant then I'd ask what her favorite coffee or tea is and offer to bring it in for her. If she's still hesitant then compliment her and wish her well. The whole thing is taken care of in seconds. Trying to get to know her before asking her out or spying on her to find her likes and dislikes avoids some of the greatest flutters that would be better had on a date rather than while hiding amongst bookshelves.

  6. I haven't had to work out dating in a looong time, so I don't have any suggestions. But I do like the first idea.

  7. So first off guys must know it is the Librarian's job to be friendly to everyone. But there are a few guys that you can talk to in the short amount of time and get to know them.

    So here is my suggestion. Take this post and use it as an opener. I promise that once they see the title they will get the picture.

    So this guy who says he is your frined took this post to the me (aka the Librarian) and very nervously said "I was talking to a friend and she wrote this.." and once I saw the title I knew. So it was all down hill from there.

    We exchanged numbers and we shall see.

  8. How exciting to have THE actual librarian comment on the post!

    Holly,I can't say enough good things about my friend. I think of him as my older brother. I'm best friends with his sister, but he's always treated me like his other sister. He has such a good heart.

    That's so exciting that you guys exchanged numbers! I hope you have a wonderful time. Keep us posted =)